Sometimes people ask the dumbest questions ever and I love these people. they’re usually wonderful lovely people. then they ask these silly questions and they drive me crazy. so this is a plea to please never ever ask these five questions.
Stupid question you should never ask #one
“Can I pick your brain”
I’m not even joking you I have a gmail filter set up to spam immediately any emails that have that phrase “let me pick your brain”. why? it’s a lazy question. if you ask this of busy people it shows you just want free advice without having to do any of the prep work. I love mentoring people and giving advice but it has to have a purpose. when people ask to pick my brain I know they are just energy vampires, wanting to suck up all the goodness in the room for their own purposes. if you want to do an informational interview with someone or learn more about what they do. ask a specific question and set an agenda.
Stupid question you should never ask #two
“Anything you can google”
‘do you know how to get the Starbucks on Burnside? let me google that for you’, ‘do you know phrase cakes are gluten free? let me google that for you’.
don’t be lazy. if you have a question that Google might be able to answer, google it first, then google it again. then look farther than the first page of the Google results. if you still don’t buy anything, then you can ask someone. but be sure to mention ‘you know I googled this but couldn’t find the answer. Was hoping you could help me with’. never ask something you can Google first.
Stupid question you should never ask #three
“Can you be my mentor”
I know you mean well. I know you have a business crush on someone and you desperately want to learn from them. but asking someone if you can be their mentee, is not the way to do it. mentors should ask if you want to be mentored. why? mentorship is serious business. I treat the few people I mentor with incredible importance. it’s also something I throw around really nilly and if you get a mentor who says an immediate yes to you, they might not be as serious as you would like them to be.
so instead of asking someone to be your mentor, show them why you are deserving of being their mentee. ask them really specific questions and for Target advice. then follow up, take the advice and show them you are taking them seriously. you don’t need a formal mentorship to learn from someone. so never ask will you be my mentor. the right mentors will ask you.
Stupid question you should never ask #four
“Something that is on their website or Wikipedia”
if you are going into a job interview and you ask something that you can easily find on their company web page or Wikipedia, it doesn’t make you look smart. and it creates a useless waste of energy for the person who has to answer. if you go on a date and ask something that’s in their online dating profile, it makes you look like you didn’t even care enough to read it before the date. so do your research. and never ask anything that is on their website, profile or Wikipedia.
Stupid question you should never ask them #five
Any of these stupid questions people have asked on the Internet, I simply couldn’t pick a last question because there are so many dumb questions people have actually typed into Google. multiple people have asked these questions on the inter webs so never ask.
“how do I take care of my pet potato”
“our skeleton is real or made-up”
“how did you lose weight without moving”
“I was bitten by a turtle when I was a young lad, should I still drink orange juice?”
“do you think NASA invented thunder to cover up the sound of space battles?”
“how big is a Pacific ocean?””do you guys think that if Michael Jackson hadn’t died, he would still be alive today?”
“how do you get spaghetti stains out of underwear?”
“how much Listerine does it take to get drunk?”
“is there a spell to become a mermaid that actually works?”
“what happens if you paint your teeth white with nail polish?”
you want to know the single answer to all these questions? it’s just no! just no! to these non questions.
You better stump out these kind of questions from your mind and think something productive.