Let’s talk about negotiation tactics.
One of the most powerful of all is called persuasion by reciprocation. Now this is based on what is called the law of reciprocity. It’s considered by many to be the most powerful law of human nature and what it says is this,
“If You Do Something Nice For Me, I’ll Do Something Nice For You. I Feel Obligated To Reciprocate”.
For example if we go out to lunch together and ‘I say i’ll pick up the lunch’, you’ll almost always say that ‘I will pay for it next time’ and next time you insist on paying for the lunch. Now there’s several different types of reciprocation. There’s of course
1) Emotional reciprocation:
where you make people feel good. You say ‘thank you, it’s a pleasure to meet you’. I know how busy you are, thank you very much for your time or this is a beautiful company or it’s a great opportunity for me to speak to you. Whenever you say anything that causes people to feel better about themselves they have a deep unconscious need to reciprocate.
2) Material or financial reciprocation:
when you do something physical for someone. For example you help someone load their car, they want to help you load their car. If you lend people money or your lawnmower they want to pay you back by reciprocating in in some way. We always like to do things for others because we have according to psychologists this deep need to be even. So if you do something for me the only way that i can get even is by doing something for you.
By the way the reverse is also true. If you do something that hurts me that i feel a deep need to get even as well. So be careful.
The starting point of reciprocation is,
Look For Opportunities To Do Things For Others Which Leads to Reciprocation
Something as simple as, bringing a cutout from a newspaper that may be of interest to a prospect. Giving a person a book or something like that. Something as simple as, opening the door or getting a cup of coffee. It’s a very powerful technique to cause people to like you and to feel obligated to you.
Now the Socratic method of reciprocation is simply by asking a lot of questions. More questions you ask of another person and listen closely to the answers, the more they like you and the more they open to being influenced by you. You’ll say you’ll find by the way that in negotiating, its that the more questions you ask and the more open you seem to appear to being reasonable and to see things from the other person’s point of view, the more reasonable they will be as well they will reciprocate.
Now whenever there’s a disagreement in a negotiation and I’ve negotiated 50 and 60 page agreements that were worth many millions of dollars and covered multi-year time spans. You’d always say this “well let’s come back to this”, so you put off any clause or any part of a negotiation where there is some difficulty or resistance or push back you say. ‘let’s put that aside for now, let’s go through the rest of the material and then let’s come back to that later’.
In negotiating one of the rules is to agree slowly. It’s very easy to agree quickly, but even if you have no problems with a particular issue always go slowly with the issue. The slower you go the more strength you have later on, when you come to issues that are of greater importance to you. You can also push the fairness button and use the word fair over and over again. They have found in television debates especially in politics, that the politician who uses the word fair- when they say ‘you know that’s not a fair interpretation’, ‘that’s not a fair way to describe this situation’ or ‘that wouldn’t be fair to me or someone else’.
You’ll find that in current politics they always use the word ‘well! People aren’t paying their fair share’ and no matter what the truth of the matter is, the word FAIR, triggers an emotional feeling to be even that that that you should back off rather than being unfair. Remember children are always saying “That’s not fair” because they know how strong the word is.
Ask for Something In return
Now here’s a rule in negotiating is never give something without getting something in return. Even if what you give is of no real concern or value to you. Always ask for something in return. If you don’t ask for something in return and soon that they will ask that they will ask things from you and not reciprocate at all.
Price and terms are different
You can pay almost any price if you can name the terms. I remember one of the best negotiators said “i will pay you a thousand dollars for that gold cross pen in your pocket even though only cost 150 i’ll pay you $1,000 for it. If i can name the terms and the terms are ‘ every time i pass you on the street in new york on a wednesday, i will give you one dollar, until the thousand dollars is covered’ and no interest .” So therefore you can agree to a higher price as long as you can degree two terms that are much more favorable to you thanks for watching so what is the one thing that you’re going to do in your next negotiation based on what you have learned in this blog. Whatever it is leave a comment below
“Until Next Time Remember That Only You Are Responsible For Your Success”